Crowds

Sometimes I can't breathe in crowds because I can hear what they're thinking. And I don't understand why they can't feel their souls. I loose mine in the chaos of trying to exist in society, but then when I die enough I hear her cry out to save me. When money and stress chain me to this real world in a way that makes my heart constantly beat sorrow, I can only find my bliss by connecting with my body and the words I love you. You ask why I say it so much, I can only explain all I do is feel. Feel everything, every molecule in my beating and vibrating body with joy or pain or whatever concoction my consciousness can imagine up. I only know how to bleed them and try to follow the lightness. For one day of auto-pilot makes me die a little more in a way that I cannot describe to anyone who has never freed themselves. I see the way you look at me and I know you don't understand why it's so hard for me to be like you. I never wished I could, but never imagined how painful and lonely my path could be. I stopped writing because I was connecting with my heart in a different way, when I realized I was always alone the words came back. 

I wish I could keep my feet on the ground.

I swear I don't mean to be like this. For you I wish I could keep my feet on the ground. Either twirling in circles or swirling ferociously in a hurricane. I know no in-between. Heart on your sleeve is an understatement when every emotion can be seen in my face and heard in every breath of my voice. I've never been good at hiding, just running. For you I wish I could keep my feet on the ground. That calm place I preach to go to, ceases to exist in my whirlwind of emotions and desires. I bounce from petal to petal, with my head looking back, chained to whatever has come before as I try to run faster. Every experience I've breathed through has carved veins in my arm, tainted with blood that will never cease to course through their streams. I cannot forget. I am not strong enough. This is my evolution and we all live and suffer through the process. Being bound to all that has come before and enslaved by time we cannot escape. This world doesn't fit me. I am not anything but energy and there is no limit to my chaos. In so many ways, I can not expel enough, and my constant struggle is to harness and focus. For you, I wish I could keep my feet on the ground.