Humility

She said 'Fact, I work five days a week with an hour commute to the city.' You know she's right because we're living exactly like our parents on the other side of the planet. And all that judgement and all that running was just to feel alive before diving down into schedule and routine and some mono-tone dream we took as a nightmare. I have work soon, where they pay me $3 dollars under the minimum wage, cash in hand, and I have a little bit better an idea of those they call illegal immigrants. Degree in government, one world tour, and 5 continents under the belt and I sweep the floor at night. Imagine those doctors from far away lands that come to mop our floors? Oh cruel world. Where do we get our measuring stick? Maybe humblings the best dose of humanity we can be served. 

Barr Brothers

I'll Come Back Home

On the road. Those things I learned.

I learned to let go. Not to linger in those days of maids and mansions or those of coffee instead of lunch and feet that burn in your shoes. How do you afford to travel? Tomorrow will be unlike today and you won't last long if you try and hold on. Yesterday I mopped the floors and a month ago I sailed on a yacht.

I learned to laugh. I figured out the other day, the reason we survive it is because we laugh, and laugh and we still find it funny. Being hungry and cold and tired and we sit there and look at each others faces and smile. Because tomorrow might be a dream of kings and beautiful places even if today is starving and dirty. 

I learned to write in the dark. I usually write when I can't sleep at night because it's more honest and I'm not thinking as much, I'm just gushing insides to outsides. It's not even like thought, it's like being. It's what I meant but couldn't verbalize. I never read them again and mail them the next morning. I hope you get a letter, it means you moved me. And I'll hold my breath while I drop it into the mail slot.

I've learned to love my home. Those fall leaves I'm missing and those bitter winters when I couldn't breathe. It wasn't the winter that broke my heart it was expecting. Expecting people to be stability when I can only provide that for myself. But now I know I love my home. Not because it's safe, but because I can love any place, and that one just happens to have more people I love.

I'll come back home.

All in My Head

I laid on the top of my bunk bed and listened to you for the first time the other night. Just me and you and my eyelids. And I kept wondering why I was in the same place on a different continent. It made me feel sad. And not the sad, where you feel bad for yourself but that aching sad, that one where your heart feels heavy. I'm dragging it around. It's funny she said it's so outside of people's minds, that thing we're doing. But it's the same old shit, that same reality when you wake up and there's the sun and the people are doing that same drinking and smoking and laughing and loving thing. That trying to get outside of their own mind thing. No matter where on Earth you wake up. And I'm not looking for anything anymore because I know there's nothing to find. It's all in my head.