Friday, December 30, 2011

Take for Granted

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I was laying on my bed this morning reading "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand listening to this when it occurred to me how outrageously good I had it. I can't believe I don't think about this more often. Granted I definitely acknowledge good days (especially good mornings) but I don't think I ever properly sit and think about the fact that I have such a privileged life. It's Christmas break and I have the luxury of not working for a few days, but really, I get to have mornings like this all the time. My parents have given me the freedom to work the jobs I want to work and not asking much of me besides being happy. So many of my friends are forced into jobs and careers that they don't even like for various reasons. Besides that, I have a warm home and bed in the first place. I can see out my window the beautiful neighborhood I grew up in, smell the incense burning next to me and have a fresh cup of coffee to my right. I have the best people all around me everyday and have a wonderful family.

MacKenzie and I were talking the other day about there being no one in the world we would switch lives with. We really do have everything anyone could want and I'm happy at least we recognize it.

What more could a human need? What is there to be unhappy about? I can't find a single reason. All of my senses are engaged and no one's demanding a single thing from me. Is this really my life? Why am I so lucky? I'm not exactly sure but I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

I hope you're lucky enough to have some beautiful people and things in your life and the ability to be grateful for them.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Girl Cave

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This is where all the magic happens. I don't like to leave this place.

Some Soul.

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I think it's this kind of day.

SCENE II. Capulet's orchard.

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JULIET
'Tis almost morning; I would have thee gone:
And yet no further than a wanton's bird;
Who lets it hop a little from her hand,
Like a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves,
And with a silk thread plucks it back again,
So loving-jealous of his liberty.

ROMEO
I would I were thy bird.

JULIET
Sweet, so would I:
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! parting is such
sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.


FULL TEXT

Annette Vetrano.

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I can't believe my mom is this cool. One on the right. One of the many pictures that reminds me how amazing of a human I was lucky enough to call my mother. 

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Yann Tiersen - Comptine d'un autre été

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This is the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. I almost cried. I might cry.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Brisk

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This is why I love mornings. I sit in bed with a warm cup of coffee and make these.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas.

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No it doesn't get easier and it doesn't feel better because you exist and I know you exist and I have so many things to do and so many people to meet and so many things to say but that will never change the fact that you are my favorite thing and I just can't remember what it feels like to not have to stop trying to think of something when it's the only thing that seems worth thinking of.

There are a lot of things I'm thankful for this Christmas.

And you over there little girl in the corner I will love you until my heart stops beating and my head gets too heavy to hold and you're my favorite part of my daily life and I could not make it through without someone that is exactly who you are telling me that you love me and there could never be anything as wonderful as you out there.

And you two; the two of you. How do you give everything and not want anything in return but to see a smile?

There are a lot of things I'm thankful for this Christmas.

Traditional Christmas Yuletide Log

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Sock Bunny

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Just handmade some Christmas presents starting with this sock bunny. Not perfect yet, but they'll get better! I love the feeling of completing something like this. Wish me luck that the little girls like these bunnies as much as I do :]

Eileen; Tin Sparrow

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I got the bus home yesterday
I got the 501 that you showed me
These old streets don't feel the same
Because on long rides home, I no longer see your face

Did you know just what you meant to me?
I wish I could share my stories with you, Eileen

Breakfast of Champions

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I just read my first Vonnegut novel and absolutely loved it. I was eating some vegetarian chili and cornbread in Texas and stumbled upon this book in a closet. I picked it up and ended up reading 1/3rd of that night and finishing it within two days. (I'm usually a slooooow reader.) I love this book. I mean, this is my new favorite book. I haven't figured out exactly what I think about it yet, but I marked certain passages that stood out to me:

"In the long run, he's committing suicide," said the driver. "Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way."

"I can't tell if you're serious or not," said the driver.
"I won't know myself until I find out whether life is serious or not," said Trout. "It's dangerous, I know, and it can hurt a lot. That doesn't necessarily mean it's serious too."
(Vonnegut; p.86)

"Patty Keene was stupid on purpose, which was the case with most women in Midland City. The women all had big minds because they were big animals, but they did not use them much for this reason: unusual ideas could make enemies, and the women, if they were going to achieve any sort of comfort and safety, needed all the friends they could get."
(Vonnegut; p.136)

"I thought Beatrice Keedsler had joined hands with other old-fashioned storytellers to make people believe that life had leading characters, minor characters, significant details, insignificant details, that it had lessons to be learned, tests to be passed, and a beginning, a middle, and an end."
(Vonnegut; p. 209)

"I now give you my word of honor," he went on, "that the picture your city owns shows everything about life which truly matters, with nothing left out. It is a picture of the awareness of every animal. It is the immaterial core of every animal—the 'I am' to which all messages are sent. It is all that is alive in any of us—in a mouse, in a deer, in a cocktail waitress. It is unwavering and pure, no matter what preposterous adventure may befall us. A sacred picture of Saint Anthony alone is one vertical, unwavering band of light. If a cockroach were near him, or a cocktail waitress, the picture would show two such bands of light. Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery."
(Vonnegut; p.221)

Just a few of my favorites. This book is so worth reading :)



Lawrence Lessig

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Exclusive - Lawrence Lessig Extended Interview Pt. 2

Lawrence Lessig explains why political transparency, while necessary, is not enough to fix America's government, in this unedited, extended interview.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

It's a Wonderful Life

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"An angel helps a compassionate but despairingly frustrated businessman by showing what life would have been like if he never existed."

100 Ways to Uncomplicate

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I found this on Stumbleupon and absolutely loved it. Hope you enjoy it too!
This is the explanation:

You see, when we’re born we see the world in an uncomplicated way. We know what we need, and we ask for it. We like nice people, and we don’t like mean people. We sleep when we’re tired, we eat when we’re hungry, and we stop eating when we’re full.
As we grow older, we eat and drink to console ourselves, rather than addressing what’s bothering us. We overwork to avoid close relationships, rather than finding people we can trust to form strong bonds with. We hold grudges, play games, spend more than we make, want things we don’t need, and we get too far away from our basic human needs. In other words, we complicate things.

Here are 100 ways to uncomplicate it...
{perfect inspiration for a Sunday!}

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds

2. Get up 30 minutes earlier so that you don’t rush/get a ticket while driving too fast/have to explain why you’re late/get fired

3. Get 8 hours of sleep per night so that you think more clearly

4. Stick to your budget

5. Start saving and investing every week, no matter how little you can spare

6. Balance your checkbook

7. Don’t try to be friends with everyone. Cultivate closer relationships with fewer people.

8. Don’t try to do business with everyone. Identify your target client and take very good care of them.

9. Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years

10. Focus on being a good person, not on pleasing others

11. Stay home this Saturday, and finish off that nagging chore that you need to finish

12. Kiss and make up

13. Make a weekly menu, and shop for only those items at the market

14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month

15. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half full

16. Don’t drink alcohol when you’re tired, sad or mad

17. Pay your bills on time

18. Get an annual physical examination

19. Say “I love you” to your significant other and to your children. Studies show that more marriages last, and fewer kids use drugs, when these words are spoken every day.

20. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are good because most people’s are

21. Give away clothes that haven’t been worn in two years

22. Throw out clothes that are in disrepair, and can’t be mended

23. When you have a conflict with someone, talk it out. Don’t let it turn into more than it is.

24. Know what your priorities are in life, and act as if they are your priorities

25. Tell the truth

26. Don’t cheat

27. Don’t steal

28. If you’re holding on to a ridiculous grudge, let it go

29. Clean your house weekly, so that it doesn’t become too large a chore

30. Do your best at work, or at school

31. Don’t eat when you aren’t hungry

32. Eat when you are hungry

33. Be yourself

34. Say no unapologetically

35. Cook simple meals

36. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses

37. Pay off your car before buying a new one

38. Organise your desk at the office

39. Change your smoke alarm batteries when the clocks spring forward, and again when they fall back

40. Organise your important paperwork

41. Take only half the clothes that you planned to take with you on holiday

42. Help your children with their homework every night, and have an open dialogue with their teachers

43. Have white sheets and white towels in children’s rooms/bathrooms, because they’re easily bleached

44. Spend your time with nice people

45. Avoid drama

46. Don’t text or talk on the phone while driving

47. Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers

48. Don’t engage in office politics

49. Refuse to gossip, or talk behind other people’s backs

50. Do the dishes right after dinner

51. Never go to sleep angry

52. Ask nicely for what you need and want

53. Walk 10,000 steps per day to help your heart

54. Do 20 push-ups before speaking in anger

55. Leave work at work

56. Don’t befriend anyone that isn’t trustworthy

57. Don’t envy others

58. Have your oil changed

59. Take vitamin C BEFORE you catch a cold

60. Don’t work more than 8 hours per day

61. Weed your garden weekly

62. Wash your car weekly

63. Have a spring cleaning month every year, and do one room at a time

64. You don’t need to be best friends with work colleagues, but build respectful partnerships

65. Don’t drink and drive

66. Don’t look for reasons to be angry or sad, look for reasons to be happy. You’ll always be able to find plenty of each.

67. Be friendly with your neighbours

68. Return emails and phone messages promptly

69. Schedule in free time

70. Don’t procrastinate

71. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it

72. Be more flexible when you’re able to be

73. Forgive and forget. End of story.

74. Break the consumerism habit…put a three month moratorium in place on buying anything not deemed a necessity

75. Start your diet on September 1, rather than January 1, so that you won’t also have holiday pounds to lose

76. Take care of any health issues or concerns

77. Have your tires rotated

78. Have your brakes checked

79. Have your eyes checked

80. Don’t let your imagination run away with you

81. Let go of perfection in others

82. Let go of perfection in yourself

83. Don’t try to help those that refuse to help themselves

84. Find a way to reduce your commute to work

85. Have an alloted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by

86. Drink more water

87. Eat more salmon

88. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill

89. Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style

90. Finish what you start

91. Wear classic clothes and shoes that never go out of style

92. Create a daily routine

93. Have a 1, 5, 10 and 20 year plan for your financial and life goals

94. Slow down

95. Eat out less often

96. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked rather than focusing on why he didn’t like the other one

97. Allow your children to grow up

98. Clean out your garage, and donate anything that hasn’t been used in the past year

99. Stretch every day

100. If a relationship is over, let it go

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Martha and the Vandellas

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Tony Robbins asks why we do what we do

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Tony Robbins discusses the "invisible forces" that motivate everyone's actions -- and high-fives Al Gore in the front row.

Hug me.

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I want to thank you for hugging me like that and looking at me like that because I needed you to and you saw that and you did and you made everything better just by being beautiful and seeing something beautiful in me that I could see reflected in your eyes and I always loved something about you but now it's different; now it's more full and real and you gave me hope not only in love and men but in tonight and tomorrow.

Born to be Wild

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"Born to be Wild 3D is an inspired story of love, dedication and the remarkable bond between humans and animals. This film documents orphaned orangutans and elephants and the extraordinary people who rescue and raise them—saving endangered species one life at a time. Stunningly captured in IMAX 3D, Born to be Wild 3D is a heartwarming adventure transporting moviegoers into the lush rainforests of Borneo with world-renowned primatologist Dr. Birute Galdikas, and across the rugged Kenyan savannah with celebrated elephant authority Dame Daphne Sheldrick, as they and their team rescue, rehabilitate and return these incredible animals back to the wild."

I got to see this in IMAX yesterday and it was absolutely adorable and inspiring. Although a little cheesy, I'm a mega-Morgan Freeman fan, so when you add cute animals and amazing women, I'm hooked.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains

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The Fleet Foxes playing "Blue Ridge Mountain" at the Grand Palais in Paris, France

Walk On.

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You remind me of all the possibilities of being lost. And growing up while I'm falling down and spinning around until I find where the sun is coming from. And then smiling, oh yes, smiling and sitting on the floor and all the pretty flowers and music. The streets smell like food I can't name or probably pronounce but I like it that way. It makes me think that there are so many things left to try and every beautiful thing I see around every corner reminds me I still have so much to do. I walk on. Suddenly all that fear seems naive and more like a murderer of this spirit that has taken me to the best parts of my life.

The California Playlist

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Recognizing Opportunity.

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The only constant is change. (Yes, I came up with that.) This is the lesson of the day, month, season. I've read some good things on attachment, and how being too caught up in controlling the people and occurrences around you will drive you mad, but it's far easier to theorize on these things than apply. Recently it felt like everything was changing, and I couldn't feel good about it, I just felt scared. I realized on the drive from Houston to Austin yesterday that my problem was expectations. When I moved back to Jersey this summer I fell into a deep hole of expectations. I fell in love with a bunch of people and I started planning some future based on nothing. That's the worst. When it all evaporated I felt abandoned.

It finally occurred to me yesterday, this isn't hopeless, this is an opportunity. I'm giving myself 6 months to save enough to pay rent and bills in Los Angeles for at least 2 months, driving cross-country with MacKenzie at the end of June and trying out a new adventure. It's time for a change of scenery. And the Golden State. If we don't do it now, when will we?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Fitzgerald, Letter to Daughter

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F. Scott Fitzgerald, in a letter to his daughter Scottie at college:

“Once one is caught up into the material world, not one person in ten thousand finds the time to form literary taste, to examine the validity of philosophic concepts for himself or to form what, for lack of a better phrase, I might call the wise and tragic sense of life.

By this I mean the thing that lies behind all great careers, from Shakespeare’s to Abraham Lincoln’s, and as far back as there are books to read—the sense that life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat, and that the redeeming things are not “happiness and pleasure” but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle. Having learned this in theory from the lives and conclusions of great men, you can get a hell of a lot more enjoyment out of whatever bright things come your way.”

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Cut off the limb.

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Finally in Austin, laying in Lauren's bed, listening to this. Being here is like a gasping breath of fresh air. I feel like a different person when I'm walking down the streets, looking at the Frost building and all the colors and smells. It's pretty impossible not to fall in love with this town and it's the perfect place for me to clear my head.  

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Apathy.

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Your name used to taste like honey and now it's stale breath I'm so (I am so tired) tired of exhaling. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I must be traveling on now.

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If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me
For I must be traveling on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see

But if I stayed here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change

Ladder to the Stars

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So, I have new motivation to make some positive changes in my life. First off, I'm a pretzel and processed carb ADDICT. I end up running everyday, not eating immediately after and two hours later, eating a half bag of pretzels or wheat thins or something of the sort. My sugar addiction has gotten out of control too, I end up eating at least one ridiculous candy/sweet/baked good every night when the cravings start (usually around 8 at night). Sometimes I wake up in the morning craving chocolate. Actually, often I wake up in the morning craving sugar. This seems like a serious problem to me. I've been running for 45-60 minutes 6 times a week for the past month and it seems like nothing has come of it. I'm guessing it's the carbs.

Anyway, starting today I'm making a deal with myself, no more processed carbs/excess sugars, no more occasional cigarettes, and more yoga. I also want to start drinking more water. We'll see how this goes. Wish me luck.

Morning Yoga

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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

since feeling is first

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Friday, December 2, 2011

AustinTX

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You might be able to understand my love for Austin with this photo.


Christmas at the house with the crooked white fence/ East Side/ Austin Tx


You Are Tired (I Think)

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You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.
Come with me, then,
And we’ll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)
You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.
But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.
Ah, come with me!
I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I’ll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

e.e. cummings
 

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