The only constant is change. (Yes, I came up with that.) This is the lesson of the day, month, season. I've read some good things on attachment, and how being too caught up in controlling the people and occurrences around you will drive you mad, but it's far easier to theorize on these things than apply. Recently it felt like everything was changing, and I couldn't feel good about it, I just felt scared. I realized on the drive from Houston to Austin yesterday that my problem was expectations. When I moved back to Jersey this summer I fell into a deep hole of expectations. I fell in love with a bunch of people and I started planning some future based on nothing. That's the worst. When it all evaporated I felt abandoned.
It finally occurred to me yesterday, this isn't hopeless, this is an opportunity. I'm giving myself 6 months to save enough to pay rent and bills in Los Angeles for at least 2 months, driving cross-country with MacKenzie at the end of June and trying out a new adventure. It's time for a change of scenery. And the Golden State. If we don't do it now, when will we?
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