Walt Whitman (1819–1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.

1. One’s-Self I Sing

ONE’S-SELF I sing—a simple, separate Person;
Yet utter the word Democratic, the word En-masse.

Of Physiology from top to toe I sing;
Not physiognomy alone, nor brain alone, is worthy for the muse—I say the Form complete is worthier far;
The Female equally with the male I sing. 5

Of Life immense in passion, pulse, and power,
Cheerful—for freest action form’d, under the laws divine,
The Modern Man I sing.

FRESH AIR

This is the vibe I wanted to share.

can we get much higher? from angee on 8tracks.

The End of the Winter!

There is nothing left for you here.
And everything to be had up there.
I am sure.
All that is built will fall apart.
And I am tired of living among the ruins.

I am tired of breathing dead breath.
The End is Here.

Book III.5:1-48 The poetic life; Sextus Propertius.

Amor’s the god of peace: and it’s peace we lovers worship: the hard fight I have with my lady’s enough for me. My heart’s not so taken with hateful gold; nor does my thirst drink from cut gems; nor is rich Campania ploughed for my gain by a thousand yokes; nor do I buy bronzes from your ruins, wretched Corinth.

O primal earth shaped badly by Prometheus! He set to work on the heart with too little care. He laid the body out with skill, but forgot the mind: the right road for the spirit should have been first.

Now we’re hurled by the wind over such seas, and seek out enemies, weaving new wars on wars. But you’ll take no wealth to the waters of Acheron: carried, naked fool, on the boat of Hell. Conquered and conqueror mingled one in the shadows: Captive Jugurtha, you sit by Marius the Consul: Croesus of Lydia not far from Dulichian Irus: that death’s best that comes the day our part is done.

It pleases me to have lived on Helicon when I was young, and entangled my hands in the Muses’s dance. It pleases me too to cloud my mind with wine, and always weave spring roses round my head. And when the weight of years obstructs Venus, and age flecks the dark hair with white, then let me discover the laws of nature, what god controls this bit of the world by his skill; how the moon rises and how it wanes, and how each month returns, horns merged, to the full; where the winds come from to rule the sea; where the East Wind gets to with his gales; where the unfailing water comes from in the clouds; whether some future day will burrow under the citadels of the world; why the rainbow drinks the rain; why the peaks of Perrhaebian Pindus trembled, and the sun’s orb mourned, his horses black; why Bootes is late to turn his oxen and wain; why the dance of the Pleiades is joined in a crowd of fires; why the deep ocean never leaves its bounds, and why the whole year has four seasons; whether, below ground, gods rule, Giants are tortured; if Tisiphone’s hair is plagued with black snakes, Alcmaeon by Furies, Phineus by hunger; and if there’s a wheel, and a rock to roll, and thirst beside the water; and Cerberus, triple-throated, guarding the cave of Hell, and Tityos’s scant nine acres; or whether an idle tale has come down to wretched mortals, and there’s no fear found beyond the fire.

This is the end of life that waits for me. You to whom war’s more pleasing: you bring Crassus’ standards home.

.

Indifference.

That is the difference.

Her New Zealand

I still see you, New Zealand
It is as if I never left,
your cold pale sky floats within me,
large puffs of smoke in the air,
hanging about like the wet clothes in our caravan.


My whole life fit into a 9x12 foot box,
condensation stricken windows,
forced heat to clog our throats and crack our lips
Steam in the showerrooms before the sun came up
(the first sun of the day)
us on opposing sides of the room,
olive oil on our skin.


I am still there, the land of the big white cloud
It fogs up the windows of my mindsets
and sweeps me away down a steep hill
(the one we rolled down looking upon the mountains,)
lakes made from angry ancient craters;
emptiness in the land, emptiness in the earth
I have never left you, home away from homes
World full of foreign families,
             babies in the backseat
                      cigarettes on the porch
                                paper currencies folding themselves up into origami butterflies
fluttering about, keeping their eyes upon us
All different wallpapers peeling from the ceilings,
I see them here too,
in all of the places I find home in,
the beds I lay in with the people I love,
the layers underneath what's hidden in the walls,
books on the shelves hypnotizing tired eyes.
And so I close them and once again, see you,
You sing me to sleep sweetest lullabies
I thought only existed in dreams that
never happened

—MacKenzie Siobhan

Ayn Rand Love Story

"She came ashore. She knew where she had to go, and wanted to get there fast, but she felt she must get there herself, like this, on her own feet. So she walked half the length of Manhattan, through long, empty, echoing streets. It was four-thirty when she knocked at his door. He had been asleep. She shook her head. "No," she said. "Go back to sleep. I just want to be here." She did not touch him. She took off her hat and shoes, huddled into an armchair, and fell asleep, her arm hanging over the chair's side, her head on her arm. In the morning he asked no questions. They fixed breakfast together, then he hurried away to his office. Before leaving, he took her in his arms and kissed her. He walked out, and she stood for a few moments, then left. They had not exchanged twenty words."

The Fountainhead

The Ballad of Breath.

I see you. Angry. Frustrated.
Squeezing you tight in my arms.
I just breathe.
Heavy. Slow.
Inhale. Exhale.
I can feel your chest slow.
I can feel your head slow.

Lying.
Not saying a word.
Breathing in unison.
One. Single. Vigor.
One.

Clear your mind.
Concentrate on your breath.
Each single breath.
Each single little eternity.

I just breathe.

Hello!

This is inspiring to me.

Find Passion.

I like to write in the morning. I like to think in the morning. With the window open and candles burning and a warm cup of something sitting next to me. I'm about to go to a yoga class and I feel like I have something I've been missing for a long while; focus. A determination for things I want that are clear and finally simple to me because I'm going in the right direction.

I was listening the other day to someone tell me, "you'll know when you're doing the right thing because it'll feel right. Your path will feel right." And you know what? That's the best advice I've absorbed in a long time.

I want to paint. I want to read. I want to write. I want to be healthy. And I want to be happy.

Life is so much simpler when you figure out what you love.

This is what this post in about, figuring out what your passion and love gravitate towards and make you feel alive. What else is life about? I want to be fulfilled and I want to be centered; I think those are the most important things in my life. Give, give, give as much as you take and find what you love and will make sacrifies to do them. Something like that.

Out Through the Fields and the Woods

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.
The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping…
Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

—Robert Frost

What you leave...

Today is a new day. from samanthaleev on 8tracks.

5 Ways Mindfulness Changed My Life

This is a post from creativespiritualwomen.com, but if you're a dude...you should still read this. Great post.

"It’s incredible to me how mindfulness has changed my life.

When we understand on a very real level that everything we focus on we are bringing into our lives, we begin to see that there are fewer and fewer things that really deserve that kind of power.

This is incredibly liberating and powerfully creative.

As a result of the laser-like focus of mindfulness, I’ve learned the following life-altering things:

1. What is not in front of me now doesn’t really matter. So, so much of my old life was spent thinking about what might happen or what had already happened. I analyzed situations and motives until I couldn’t even remember what had really happened. I spent hours predicting what might happen, what someone might say, what the situation might be like and then developed resentments when reality was completely different. Becoming present has made it incredibly clear to me that this moment is the one I can act in. This moment is the one I can step into fully, make eye contact with others, and feel myself in my skin. No amount of recapping history or imagining an upcoming event can substitute for what I have now.

2. Asking myself, “what do I love now?” over and over again has made it powerfully clearto me what I want in life. I used to get so frustrated, wondering if I was doing the right thing or wondering if I should be in a different field. I would get derailed easily when someone else would be passionate about what they were doing, wondering if I should do that, too. It was all lack of presence. Now that I have the experience of asking myself, over and over, what I really want, I am not at all swayed by what anyone else is doing. I know that at any given moment, I know what I want in life, because I’ve spent time honestly asking myself and listening to the answer.

It’s also a joy now to hear about new things that others are doing, and to be excited for them. I used to be frustrated when I heard about a new technology or new fun thing that someone was learning – I felt like I “should” be learning it too, and it felt heavy and oppressive. Now I love hearing about their passions and can be genuinely happy for their interests and accomplishments.

3. Knowing what I want has made it easier to eliminate what I don’t want. There are so many amazing things in the world! It can be hard to choose from at first, when there are mountains to climb and people to meet and businesses to start and ideas to bring to life. There are an infinite numberof amazing things to do and learn and love! I used to beat myself up for all the amazing things I wasn’tdoing, and now I know that this isn’t possible, practical, or desirable.

In asking myself, over and over, in so many beautifully present moments, “What do I love now? What do I want to do now?” I have not answered with, “Write a novel,” “climb Kilimanjaro,” “go skydiving,” or “cure cancer.” Many other beautiful, perfect souls have these things on their lists. Maybe someday they’ll show up on mine – but not today! Today, my loves are: walking, eating amazing food (I’m pregnant, so food is powerfully important to me now), writing anything that helps someone else suffer less, collaborating with amazing friends, and having an online-based business. I’m fantastically in love with my little girl and I love doing things to prepare for her arrival. I love these things.

Should I feel guilty that I’m not: training for a marathon, writing the next great novel, learning Chinese and travelling constantly? Absolutely not! It’s so easy to lovingly eliminate what I don’t want. Not in a negative, harsh way, but in a beautiful acknowledgement of what I’m focused on and what I don’t need to worry about right now.

4. Outside messages have no power anymore. You know those messages that come from TV, family, friends, the internet, our coworkers…every message that used to make me feel like I wasn’tenough: “You’re not doing X, you’re behind the times,” or “You’re not size 0, you need to work harder,” “you’re not as fast at X task as Susan, you might want to work on that.”

Now, it’s obvious to me that being a size 0 is not on my priority list, and that’s perfect. Learning Susan’s task isn’t one of my favorite things, I’m so grateful that Susan is so good at it. There are so many great things that others are doing, and that’s wonderful! I have that much more time for what I do want.

The more present I become and clearer I get with what I love, the more absurd those messages sound. It’s hilarious how often we’re led to believe we should do something just because ten other people believe it’s a desirable goal.

5. The things I love multiply and come into my life at lightening speed. This is where that “magic” happens. As a result of not thinking about what I don’t want, not getting caught up in the messages of “should” and “shouldn’t,” not getting distracted by what isn’t happening now, I have incredible time and energy to do exactly what I love. I have the time to spend 30, 60, 90 minutes on writing my ebook that I previously would’ve spent chasing after something I “should” be doing. As a result? I’m about ready to release another ebook! I have more time to take walks, work on my business, and prepare for the new baby. Things happen so quickly in my life now that people tell me they can hardly keep up!

Mindfulness, presence, falling in love with this moment has been so transforming for me. I hope you’re encouraged to let go of the past and spend a little time here, too. It will change your life."

This moment.

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”

— William Morris

I painted my first painting last night with the girls on a cozy Sunday with wine and candles. I loved it. I've read about some experiences helping you "live in the moment" and this is definitely one of them. Trying to concentrate on what you're doing so your mind is full and won't run away from you, helps me be grateful and appreciate each moment I live through and find happiness. It's also such a creative outlet and completely fulfilling.

Hope for Sun.

"Grassy Path" by Jennifer Gaillard

How does it seem like one morning the sun shines clearly and you can hear the birds again? You awaken to realize that everything fits and all the struggle and walking in the dark made sense because they brought you exactly where you needed to be and you can feel and see the path ahead laid out in front of your feet as a sunny dirt road lined with grass and dandelions with the bluest skies hanging all around you. I see it. I feel light.

I feel.

This way. This is growing pains.

Moving. Moving.

When does the pain of growing stop?
Tell me when these growing pains will subside.
If coasting isn't moving and we're only begging to move
then avoidance is impossible.
If the highest brings you to the lowest
and the numbness makes you feel dead,
then which way do you turn
and who will give you the answers?

Laugh

This is pretty funny.

Loved Sleeping.

“I have always loved sleeping more

than I have ever loved people

but that all changed

when I slept with you.

No. That all changed

after you left me

and I discovered America

was all about how much

I missed sleeping with you.”

— Sherman Alexie

The Artist.

This is my favorite movie. This is so beautiful, please go see it.

The Artist - Official Trailer 2011 HD

More info: http://trailers.apple.com

Genre: Musical, Drama,Foreign

Official Site: http://theartistmovie.net

Director: Michel Hazanavicius

Cast: Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo, John Goodman, James Cromwell, Penelope Ann Miller, Missi Pyle

Writers: Michel Hazanavicius

In theaters: November 23rd, 2011

Synopsis: Hollywood 1927. George Valentin is a very successful silent movie star. The arrival of talking pictures will mark the end of his career. Peppy Miller, a young woman extra, becomes a major movie star.

Alone, Never Alone.

I like this one, I made it last night on my bed with Courtney. Happy days.

Alone & Never Alone. from samanthaleev on 8tracks.

String of Life.

I cuddled on couches with lots of candles and wine and music playing with my friends all day yesterday. (Happy Sunday!) We were talking about everything and a subject I've been thinking about a lot recently came up. Bobby was describing his search for those moments when he feels what he described as "magic" with other people. (He's poetic.) But what I believe he was talking about is that moment of blissful connection or intense bond you can make with another person where you really see a genuine piece of them, or you understand each other in a way that seems pure and simple.

By Hengki Koentjoro

I've realized how important these moments and connections are to me recently; I think it's in relation to gratitude for the people in my life and the overwhelming amount of moments I have that make me feel like this on a regular basis. (Very lucky human.)

I was driving MacKenzie home from the airport the other day and Gary decided to surprise her by waiting down the street from the airport. When my mom heard about it the first thing she said was, "You guys really love each other." We do. It's something we actively try to do, love each other and help each other, as much as we can. And these  moments come more freely.

Human bonds and connections are so important and it seems like you can get those moments of wholeness and interconnectedness not only from people, but from instances of intense beauty, (I can remember feeling like this when standing over a beautiful view of Rome.) when you are more fully aware of all the wonder that you are apart of and exist within. These string of moments are what makes it all worth living through. The struggle isn't so bad because it will always bring you back to one of those moments that makes you remember how wonderful it is to be alive and conscience of your own reality and experiences. Or as Bobby said yesterday, "I'm so lucky I'm alive and can listen to music." Simple.

Seek and appreciate those things that give you that feeling.

Introduction to Evolutionary Biology

Everyone should read this. Everyone should try to understand this on some basic level.

volution is the cornerstone of modern biology. It unites all the fields of biology under one theoretical umbrella. It is not a difficult concept, but very few people -- the majority of biologists included -- have a satisfactory grasp of it. One common mistake is believing that species can be arranged on an evolutionary ladder from bacteria through "lower" animals, to "higher" animals and, finally, up to man. Mistakes permeate popular science expositions of evolutionary biology. Mistakes even filter into biology journals and texts. For example, Lodish, et. al., in their cell biology text, proclaim, "It was Charles Darwin's great insight that organisms are all related in a great chain of being..." In fact, the idea of a great chain of being, which traces to Linnaeus, was overturned by Darwin's idea of common descent.

Misunderstandings about evolution are damaging to the study of evolution and biology as a whole. People who have a general interest in science are likely to dismiss evolution as a soft science after absorbing the pop science nonsense that abounds. The impression of it being a soft science is reinforced when biologists in unrelated fields speculate publicly about evolution.

This is a brief introduction to evolutionary biology. I attempt to explain basics of the theory of evolution and correct many of the misconceptions.

This is a brief introduction to evolutionary biology. I attempt to explain basics of the theory of evolution and correct many of the misconceptions.

Read more »

Beach House

You know you're gold, you don't gotta worry none

Oasis child, born and so wild

Don't I know you better than the rest

All deception, all deception from you

4 Qualities of Mind

I got this one off of psychologytoday.com.

It's entitled: 4 Qualities of Mind that Alleviate Suffering; and it reads as following:

1. Metta. The traditional translation for metta is lovingkindness. Meditation teacher, Sylvia Boorstein, uses the word "friendliness." Some Buddhist scholars say that friendliness (specifically, "boundless friendliness") is a more accurate translation of metta because metta derives from the Pali word mitta which means "friend."

Whether you prefer the word lovingkindness or friendliness, the Indian sage Neem Karoli Baba captured the essence of metta when he said: "Don't throw anyone out of your heart." That would, of course, include yourself. It would also include that relative who is a thorn in your side. And it would include that politician whose views you abhor.

2. Karuna. Karuna means compassion. It's often referred to as the quivering of the heart in response to suffering. As with metta, we cultivate it both for ourselves and for others. Responding with compassion to our own suffering gives rise to compassion for others because, as the Tibetan Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron said, "Sorrow has the exact same taste for all of us." And yet, many of us find it hard to cultivate compassion for ourselves. We're our own harshest critics.

The Vietnamese Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, helped me learn to cultivate compassion for myself. In his book, Commentaries on the Diamond Sutra, he describes how our body responds naturally—without thought—to its own pain:

When our left hand is injured, our right hand takes care of it right away. It doesn't stop to say, "I am taking care of you. You are benefitting from my compassion."

3. Mudita. There's not a one-word translation in English that conveys the meaning of mudita. So, unlike compassion for example, we are not necessarily raised to value mudita. It means to feel joy in the joy of others. When we're dwelling in the heavenly abode of mudita, we feel joy when another person is happy.

We may not have a one-word translation in English for mudita, but I'm happy to report that neither do we have a one-word translation for the German word schadenfreude which means feeling joy in the misfortune of others. I wish I could say that I've never felt schadenfreude. I have. But since I began practicing mudita, I've noticed that the slightest movement of my mind in the direction of schadenfreude intensifies my own suffering. I no longer take joy in other people's misfortune.

4. Upekkha. Upekkha means equanimity. It refers to a mind that is calm and steady in the face of life's ups and downs. This is a tall order because it means opening our hearts and minds not just to pleasant experiences but to unpleasant ones too. Resisting the latter just adds our own stress to what is already difficult. Lama Yeshe beautifully expresses the essence of equanimity: "If you expect your life to be up and down, your mind will be much more peaceful."

Most Buddhist teachers present the four sublime emotions in the order I've written about them: metta (lovingkindness/friendliness), karuna (compassion), mudita (joy in the joy of others), and upekkha (equanimity). But in her book, It's Easier Than You Think, Sylvia, with her usual common sense and clarity, starts with equanimity. She says that an equanimous mind holds all things in "an ease-filled balance."

Then, she says, from this place of equanimity, when we see people going about their everyday lives, friendliness (metta) is our natural response. When we see someone suffering, compassion (karuna) is our natural response. When we see someone who's happy, joy in their joy (mudita) is our natural response.

Volunteer Online!

Y'all need to check this out, you can volunteer online from your bed. It just asks you to plug in some of your skills and interests and you're on your way to saving the world. I saw this amazing post for yoga teachers to help make videos for cancer patients and tons of other interesting projects. I'm so into this:

[ http://www.sparked.com ]

Sea of Love; Piano

I learned how to play the first few chords of Sea of Love this morning! First song on the piano ever!!

Save yourself.

Newest playlist. These are "before bed" jams, I love Cat Power.

You're Alright. from samanthaleev on 8tracks.

The Four Agreements

In the best selling book The Four Agreements don Miguel Ruiz gives four principles to practice in order to create love and happiness in your life. Adopting and committing to these agreements is simple. Actually living and keeping these Four Agreements can  be one of the hardest things  you will ever do. It can also be one of he most life changing things you will ever do.

As you practice living these four practices your life will dramatically change. In the beginning these new habits will be challenging and you will lapse countless times. With practice these agreements become integrated into your being and every area of your life and become easy habits to keep.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Source: http://www.toltecspirit.com/ 

Cultural Norms.

I just find this interesting and bizarre. 

Irish Guards, London, 1966 Photograph by James P. Blair Irish Guards in London, England, remain at attention after a fellow guardsman faints.

Life!

Lesson two from meditation is being in the moment. I've felt so peaceful recently and I fully believe it's because of practicing meditation. I've been finding myself concentrating on what's actually going on around me instead of what could be going on around me, or what people who aren't even around me are thinking or doing, etc. It's wonderful, I feel so good and calm and it's not even an ecstatic feeling, just sort of at ease and yet happy.

Secondly, I can't believe I have such amazing people in my life, I think about it everyday and it seems like it just keeps getting better. MacKenzie and I we're talking about all these things last night, and about how the only true kind of love is unconditional and unselfish. To love without needing. Being in the moment, and loving all the imperfect but unique people around you and seeing life for exactly what it is. It's all so good. This is what I've got for you this morning.

California Road Trip

My best friend Nellie just sent me this in an email to help me visualize the road trip we're taking through California this summer. This is why I'm grateful everyday for the people that surround me. Oh my gosh, I'm so happy.

Best Video Ever.

I can't help myself. This is adorable. I love when Gary and James switch instruments.

Can't Sleep

Chopin, Debussy, & friends. from thecultureclub on 8tracks.

pickthebrain.com

I found this article on pickthebrain.com and had to share:

4 Powerful Reasons to Meditate and How To Get Started

Meditation is the art of silencing the mind. When the mind is silent, concentration is increased and we experience inner peace in the midst of worldly turmoil. This elusive inner peace is what attracts so many people to meditation and is a quality everyone can benefit from.

What are the Benefits of Meditation?

I’ve been meditating twice a day for the past 9 years because I enjoy it. It may seem strange, but I feel happiest when sitting in perfect silence. The experience is difficult to express in words. It is akin to the “peace that passeth understanding”. It is also true that every meditation is not the same. Sometimes meditation is a struggle to control the mind, while at other times it feels effortless.

These are some of the benefits of meditation:

1. Improved concentration – A clear mind makes you more productive, especially in creative disciplines like writing.
2. Less bothered by little things – Do you sometimes allow yourself to get upset by little things? It is the nature of the mind to magnify small things into serious problems. Meditation helps us detach. We learn to live in the here and now, rather than worrying about the past or future. We do not worry about meaningless things, but see the bigger picture.
3. Better Health – There have been numerous studies pointing to the health benefits of meditation. The reason is that meditation reduces stress levels and alleviates anxiety. If we can reduce stress, many health benefits follow.
4. Knowledge of Self – Meditation enables us to have a deeper understanding of our inner self. Through meditation we can gain a better understanding of our life’s purpose.

Read more »

B is for.

Bobby and I went to get this done today, the one on the left is the new tattoo. I think it's one of my favorites. Christin Reid in Keyport was the artist. 

YES

Stay Calm.

Lesson of the morning is to "remain calm and carry on." I've been trying to be serious about meditating once a day and clearing my thoughts. What I've really gotten from it is that you do have the power to control what goes in and out of your mind. I try to kill negative thoughts as soon as I realize I'm thinking them and embrace the positive ones. If I could just not let myself get carried away in the highs of life and stay grounded and rational through all experiences, the lows will be easier to cope with. I'm not trying to say to resist excitement, or love or any of the good stuff, just to always remain centered. I watch myself, and my family deal with the ups and downs of life as we all try to survive the growing pains of our early twenties, and I can't help but think what it would be like if we could all just remain a little more calm and centered. I'll let you know if I ever get there myself.

SO much wisdom and balance is inside every person, keep working towards it everyday. 

Sunshine on your face.

I just made this one. Really proud of it.

Feel the Sun on my face. from samanthaleev on 8tracks.

Kurt Vonnegut

“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.”

—Kurt Vonnegut