Optional Death

oh-glob

I had a dream about you last night. And it was weird because it wasn't of when we were five and rolling around in grass. Or when we we're 15 and trying to figure out what kissing boys was about, or even 21 when we went through our first stage of growing into adults and spent half our nights up in diners talking about everything over too many coffee cups. No, it was now, it was you and us in our apartment and in my mind I made this special place for you to be there. To be in my life, but it's weird, for the first time in my life you're gone. And I don't think you're ever coming back. And I remember when my first boyfriend broke up with me and I thought it was like voluntary death, and I couldn't imagine anything worse. Well this is so much the same, no matter how much I want what was to be there still, it's not. I went this way and you went that. And I accept it but I guess sometimes it haunts me in my dreams.